If your pelvic floor muscles feel tense or difficult to relax, learning how to let them soften can be just as important as learning how to strengthen them.
Pelvic floor relaxation techniques commonly include slow breathing, body awareness, gentle movement and practising the feeling of releasing unnecessary muscle tension. These strategies may be useful if you have difficulty relaxing your pelvic floor, but persistent pelvic pain, bladder or bowel symptoms, pain with penetration or other ongoing concerns are worth having professionally assessed.
Why does the pelvic floor need to relax?
Your pelvic floor is a group of muscles at the base of the pelvis. These muscles help support the pelvic organs and contribute to bladder and bowel control, sexual function, movement and pressure management.
A healthy pelvic floor is not simply a strong pelvic floor. It needs to be able to contract, relax and lengthen when needed, while coordinating with your breathing and the rest of your body.
Some people have pelvic floor muscles that are weak or difficult to activate. Others have muscles that are tight, overactive or difficult to relax. Some people experience a combination of strength, tension and coordination issues.
This means pelvic floor care should be matched to what your muscles actually need rather than automatically adding more strengthening exercises.
For more on the difference between tension and weakness, see our guide to the overactive pelvic floor.
What can a tight or overactive pelvic floor feel like?
A tight or overactive pelvic floor can be associated with symptoms such as:
- pelvic, vaginal, vulval or lower abdominal pain
- pain during or after sex
- difficulty or pain with vaginal penetration
- difficulty inserting a tampon, menstrual cup, disc or other internal product
- urinary urgency
- difficulty starting or emptying the bladder
- constipation or difficulty emptying the bowel
- a persistent feeling of pelvic tension or gripping
- pain when attempting pelvic floor exercises
These symptoms do not prove that your pelvic floor is overactive. Pelvic pain, urinary symptoms, bowel symptoms and pain with penetration can have many different causes.
For example, vaginismus involves involuntary tightening around the vagina and can make penetration painful or difficult. Pelvic floor physiotherapy and relaxation techniques may form part of treatment, but management is individual and may involve other forms of support as well.
If symptoms are persistent, painful or interfering with everyday life, an assessment can help establish what is actually happening rather than relying on symptoms alone.
How to relax your pelvic floor
Different pelvic floor relaxation technique work for different people.
A useful starting point is a few minutes in a comfortable position. Focus on breathing, awareness and letting go rather than trying to force the muscles to relax.
Stop if a technique causes pain, increased pressure or worsening bladder, bowel or pelvic symptoms.
1. Try relaxed diaphragmatic breathing
Slow, comfortable breathing can help you become more aware of how your diaphragm, abdomen and pelvic floor move together.
Try this:
- Sit or lie somewhere comfortable.
- Place one hand on your lower abdomen or lower ribs if that helps you notice your breathing.
- Breathe in gently through your nose and allow your abdomen and lower ribs to expand naturally.
- Let your shoulders, jaw and abdomen soften.
- Breathe out comfortably without pushing or straining.
- As you breathe in, notice whether you can allow the muscles at the base of your pelvis to soften.
- Continue for a few minutes, or for as long as feels comfortable.
You do not need to take enormous breaths or force your abdomen out. The aim is relaxed breathing rather than creating a particular amount of movement.
2. Practise a gentle pelvic floor “drop”
Pelvic health physiotherapists sometimes use the term down-training for strategies that help someone recognise unnecessary pelvic floor tension and practise letting it go.
Start by noticing whether you are unconsciously gripping your:
- jaw
- abdomen
- buttocks
- inner thighs
- pelvic floor
Allow those areas to soften as you breathe.
During a comfortable breath in, imagine the pelvic floor gently widening or dropping. Think of this as allowing the muscles to release rather than actively pushing them down.
Do not bear down or strain. A pelvic floor drop is intended to be a gentle release, not a pushing movement.
If you cannot feel a change, that is not necessarily a problem. Pelvic floor awareness can take practice, and a pelvic health physiotherapist can help you learn what contraction and relaxation feel like for your body.
3. Use a body scan
A body scan can help you notice muscle tension you may be holding without realising it.
Sit or lie comfortably and slowly move your attention through different areas of your body:
- Soften your forehead.
- Unclench your jaw.
- Allow your shoulders to relax.
- Soften your abdomen.
- Let your buttocks and inner thighs relax.
- Notice your pelvic floor without trying to force it to change.
- Take several comfortable breaths and notice whether any tension changes.
The aim is not to achieve a particular sensation. It is to become better at recognising when you are holding unnecessary tension and practising letting it go.
4. Try a comfortable relaxation position
Some positions may make it easier to breathe comfortably and reduce general muscle tension.
You could try:
- supported butterfly: lie on your back with the soles of your feet together and cushions supporting your knees
- child's pose: if kneeling and bending through your hips is comfortable
- legs supported against a wall: lie on your back with your legs comfortably supported
- supported knees towards the chest: only as far as feels comfortable
These yoga positions are intended to be comfortable movement, relaxation and body awareness poses rather than treatments in themselves.
Never force a stretch or hold a position through pain. If a position increases pelvic pressure, pain or tension, choose another one.
5. Try progressive muscle relaxation
Progressive muscle relaxation involves bringing your attention to different muscle groups and noticing the difference between tension and relaxation.
You might work gradually from your feet upwards through your legs, abdomen, shoulders, jaw and face.
When you reach the pelvic area, you do not need to perform a hard pelvic floor contraction. Simply notice whether you are gripping and see whether you can allow that tension to soften.
If deliberately tensing any muscle group makes your pelvic symptoms worse, skip that part and focus on breathing and body awareness instead.
How often should you practise pelvic floor relaxation?
There is no single schedule that suits everyone.
Some people find a few minutes of relaxed breathing useful once or several times during the day. Others may follow a longer or more structured program recommended by a pelvic health physiotherapist.
Start with an amount that feels manageable and comfortable rather than aiming for a particular number of minutes.
You can also use these skills during everyday activities when you notice yourself gripping your abdomen, buttocks, jaw or pelvic floor, such as while working, exercising or feeling stressed.
If you have ongoing symptoms, an individual program is more useful than trying to follow a generic schedule from the internet.
What about Kegel exercises?
Kegel exercises, also called pelvic floor muscle exercises, involve deliberately contracting and relaxing the pelvic floor muscles.
They can be helpful when strengthening is appropriate, but more strengthening is not always better.
If your pelvic floor is already difficult to relax, repeatedly squeezing the muscles without understanding what is causing your symptoms may not be the best place to start.
A pelvic health physiotherapist can assess whether you would benefit from strengthening, relaxation, coordination work or a combination.
If strengthening has been recommended for you, see How to Do Kegel Exercises. If you are considering a device, our Guide to Choosing Pelvic Floor Trainers explains when a trainer may and may not be useful.
What should you avoid?
Don't force your pelvic floor to “drop”. The aim is to release unnecessary tension, not to push or bear down.
Don't routinely stop your urine flow as an exercise. Repeatedly interrupting urination is not recommended pelvic floor training.
Don't push through pain. Breathing, movement or relaxation exercises should not make pelvic symptoms progressively worse.
Don't assume every pelvic symptom means you have a tight pelvic floor. Similar symptoms can have many causes.
Don't assume every pelvic floor needs strengthening. Some people benefit from strengthening, others from relaxation or coordination work, and some need a combination.
When should you see a pelvic health professional?
Consider seeing a GP or pelvic health physiotherapist if you have:
- persistent pelvic, vaginal, vulval or lower abdominal pain
- pain during or after sex
- difficulty or pain with vaginal penetration
- difficulty inserting a tampon, menstrual cup, disc or other internal product
- urinary urgency or difficulty emptying your bladder
- constipation or difficulty emptying your bowel
- pelvic heaviness, pressure or a bulge
- pain during pelvic floor exercises
- difficulty relaxing your pelvic floor
- symptoms that interfere with exercise, sleep, work, sex or everyday life
A pelvic health physiotherapist can assess how your pelvic floor muscles are functioning and help determine whether relaxation, strengthening, coordination work or another treatment approach is appropriate.
You can use our pelvic health physiotherapist directory to find services in Australia.
Persistent pelvic pain should also be medically assessed so that other possible causes can be considered rather than assuming the pelvic floor is responsible.
Seek urgent medical care for severe or rapidly worsening pelvic pain or other symptoms that make you acutely unwell.
If discussing pelvic or vaginal symptoms feels difficult, our guide to talking to a doctor about intimate health concerns may help you prepare.
What if pelvic floor relaxation makes your symptoms worse?
Not every technique will suit every person.
If slow breathing, stretching or a particular position increases pain, pelvic pressure, urinary symptoms or other discomfort, stop and seek personalised advice.
A pelvic health physiotherapist can help determine whether the problem involves muscle tension, difficulty coordinating the muscles or something else entirely.
This is particularly useful if you have persistent pain, pain with penetration, bladder or bowel symptoms, prolapse symptoms or symptoms following birth or surgery.
Frequently asked questions
How do you know if your pelvic floor is too tight?
Symptoms such as pelvic pain, pain with penetration, urinary urgency, difficulty emptying the bladder or bowel and difficulty relaxing the pelvic floor can occur with an overactive pelvic floor, but they can also have other causes. A pelvic health physiotherapist can assess the muscles directly rather than relying on symptoms alone.
Can breathing relax your pelvic floor?
Relaxed diaphragmatic breathing may help you become more aware of pelvic floor movement and practise releasing unnecessary tension. The diaphragm and pelvic floor normally move together as part of breathing and pressure management, so breathing exercises are commonly included in pelvic floor relaxation programs.
What is a pelvic floor drop?
A pelvic floor drop is a gentle relaxation technique where you allow the muscles at the base of the pelvis to soften or lengthen rather than contracting them. It should not involve pushing or bearing down. If you are unsure what this feels like, a pelvic health physiotherapist can help.
Are Kegels bad for a tight pelvic floor?
Kegels are not inherently bad, but repeated strengthening may not be the right starting point if your pelvic floor is already overactive or difficult to relax. Some people eventually benefit from both relaxation and strengthening once the muscles are able to move through their full range. Assessment can help determine what is appropriate for you.
Can yoga relax the pelvic floor?
Gentle yoga positions may help some people feel more relaxed and comfortable, but there is limited evidence that a particular pose specifically releases the pelvic floor. Choose positions that allow comfortable breathing and movement and stop if they increase pain or pressure.
How long does it take to relax a tight pelvic floor?
There is no standard timeframe. It depends on why the muscles are overactive, how long symptoms have been present and whether other factors such as pain, bladder or bowel symptoms are involved. If symptoms persist, individual assessment is more useful than trying to reach a particular result within a set number of days or weeks.
Can a pelvic floor be both tight and weak?
Yes. Muscle tension and muscle strength are not opposites. A pelvic floor can have difficulty relaxing and still lack strength, endurance or coordination. This is one reason pelvic floor treatment may involve a combination of relaxation, coordination and strengthening rather than only one approach.
The bottom line
Pelvic floor health is about more than strength. The muscles need to be able to contract, relax, lengthen and coordinate with your breathing and the rest of your body.
Slow breathing, pelvic floor drops, body awareness and comfortable movement may help you practise letting go of unnecessary tension. The aim is gentle release rather than forcing the muscles down or pushing through discomfort.
If you have persistent pelvic pain, difficulty with penetration, bladder or bowel symptoms or you are unsure whether your pelvic floor needs strengthening or relaxation, individual assessment with a pelvic health physiotherapist is often the most useful next step.
Related reading
- Overactive Pelvic Floor: Symptoms and Treatment
- How to Do Kegel Exercises
- A Guide to Choosing Pelvic Floor Trainers
- Vaginismus: Symptoms, Causes and Treatment
- Find a Pelvic Health Physiotherapist in Australia
Sources
- Healthdirect Australia, Pelvic floor exercises
- Continence Health Australia, Why pelvic floor training matters
- Queensland Health, Pelvic Floor Muscle Relaxation
- van Reijn-Baggen DA et al., Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy for Pelvic Floor Hypertonicity: A Systematic Review of Treatment Efficacy.
- Healthdirect Australia, Persistent pelvic pain
- Healthdirect Australia, Vaginismus
This article provides general information and is not a substitute for personalised medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Speak with a qualified healthcare professional about persistent or concerning pelvic symptoms.