How to Regulate Your Nervous System

9 min read
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Learning how to regulate your nervous system means finding ways to respond to stress and settle again after a demanding moment. Slow breathing, grounding, movement, rest and support from other people may all help.

You don't need to feel calm all the time, and there's no single technique that works for everyone. These strategies can be useful for everyday stress, but they aren't a substitute for healthcare if stress, anxiety or other symptoms persist or interfere with daily life.

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What does nervous system regulation mean?

Your nervous system helps coordinate communication throughout your body. Part of it, called the autonomic nervous system, helps control automatic functions such as heart rate, breathing and digestion.

When you're under stress, your body can become more alert and release hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. This is often referred to as the fight-or-flight response. When the challenge passes, your body's activity can shift again.

You may also hear the phrase rest and digest used to describe a more restful state. These descriptions can be useful shortcuts, but the nervous system is much more complex than simply switching between two settings.

The term “nervous system dysregulation” is also commonly used online to describe feeling constantly on edge, overwhelmed, shut down or unable to settle. It isn't, by itself, a medical diagnosis. Symptoms such as poor sleep, racing thoughts, muscle tension, palpitations or feeling overwhelmed can have many possible causes.

Stress itself is a normal response to challenging situations. It becomes more of a concern when it lasts for a long time, feels overwhelming or begins to affect your everyday life.

You can read more about stress and the body's stress response at healthdirect.

How can you calm your nervous system in the moment?

There's no guaranteed way to make your body instantly calm, but a few simple techniques may help reduce tension or bring your attention back to the present.

1. Try comfortable, slow breathing

Stress can make breathing faster and shallower. Slowing your breathing may help you feel calmer or less tense.

Try sitting or standing somewhere supported. Breathe in gently for about 3 counts, then breathe out for about 3 counts. Continue for a minute or two if it feels comfortable.

You can make the exhale slightly longer if that feels natural, but there's no need to hold your breath or force a particular rhythm.

If slow or focused breathing makes you dizzy, short of breath or more anxious, stop and return to your usual breathing.

Healthdirect includes slow breathing among its recommended relaxation techniques for managing stress.

2. Use a five-senses grounding exercise

Grounding exercises focus your attention on what is happening around you rather than on distressing thoughts.

One option is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique.

Try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise:

  1. Notice 5 things you can see.
  2. Notice 4 things you can feel or touch.
  3. Notice 3 things you can hear.
  4. Notice 2 things you can smell.
  5. Notice 1 thing you can taste.

You don't have to follow the numbers exactly. Adapt the exercise to your environment, senses and abilities.

Beyond Blue's Finding Calm guide explains breathing and grounding exercises in more detail.

3. Release some physical tension

Stress often shows up physically. You might notice that your jaw is clenched, your shoulders are raised or your muscles feel tight.

Try loosening your jaw, lowering your shoulders, gently stretching or taking a short walk. Progressive muscle relaxation, where you gently tense and then release different muscle groups, is another option.

Avoid movements that cause pain. You don't need a deep stretch or intense workout for a short movement break to be useful.

4. Give yourself a little space

Sometimes the most useful step is reducing what's happening around you.

You might try:

  • moving to a quieter room
  • putting your phone or notifications aside for a few minutes
  • getting a glass of water
  • stepping outside
  • sitting somewhere you feel comfortable
  • talking with someone you trust

If you can't leave the situation, something as simple as noticing your feet against the floor or the chair supporting your body can give you a point to focus on.

Which habits may help with stress over time?

You don't need an elaborate “nervous system regulation routine”. A few realistic habits are usually more sustainable than trying to optimise every part of your day.

Things that may help you manage stress include:

  • regular movement or exercise
  • getting enough sleep where possible
  • spending time outdoors
  • taking breaks during demanding days
  • staying connected with supportive people
  • making time for activities you enjoy
  • reducing demands where you realistically can

Healthdirect notes that exercise, adequate sleep, relaxation techniques and social connection can all play a role in managing stress.

What about journalling?

Some people find writing helpful for organising thoughts, recognising patterns or getting worries out of their head and onto paper.

You could write for a few minutes about what's on your mind, what you've noticed in your body or something that has been difficult that day.

There's no need to journal every day or turn it into another task you have to complete. If it helps, use it. If it doesn't, choose something else.

What about meditation, yoga nidra and NSDR?

Guided meditation, yoga nidra and non-sleep deep rest (NSDR) are all ways people may choose to set aside time for quiet rest or focused attention.

Yoga nidra is a guided practice that generally involves lying down while attention is directed through the body, breath or other sensations.

NSDR, or non-sleep deep rest, is a newer term commonly used for guided relaxation practices that share some similarities with yoga nidra and other forms of meditation.

These practices may feel relaxing and there is research suggesting that mindfulness-based programs and yoga nidra may help some people with stress, anxiety or wellbeing. However, the evidence varies considerably between studies.

A 2021 review described by the US National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health looked at 23 studies involving 1,815 adults with diagnosed anxiety disorders. Results varied between the different mindfulness approaches, the risk of bias in the studies was unclear and the few studies with follow-up longer than 2 months did not find lasting effects.

More recent research into yoga nidra is encouraging, but reviews have also noted substantial differences between studies and generally low methodological quality. That means it's reasonable to view these practices as possible relaxation tools rather than treatments guaranteed to “reset” the nervous system.

There also isn't enough evidence to promise that a single meditation, NSDR or yoga nidra session will reliably lower cortisol, create a particular brainwave state or produce a specific physiological response in everyone.

Meditation and mindfulness practices are usually considered low risk, but they aren't enjoyable or helpful for everyone. Some people experience increased anxiety, uncomfortable thoughts or other negative effects.

If focusing inward feels uncomfortable, it's fine to stop, keep your eyes open or choose an external grounding activity instead, such as walking, listening to music or using the five-senses exercise.

Can your menstrual cycle affect stress and mood?

Some people notice changes in mood, emotional sensitivity or how well they cope with stress at different points in their menstrual cycle. Other people notice very little difference.

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) can include symptoms such as irritability, mood changes, tiredness and feeling more emotional. Symptoms vary considerably between people and can also vary from one cycle to another.

If premenstrual symptoms become difficult to manage or interfere with everyday life, it's worth discussing them with your GP.

Read more in our guides to premenstrual syndrome (PMS), premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) and how hormones can affect mental health.

PMDD is more than simply feeling emotional before a period and needs proper assessment rather than self-diagnosis.

What about stress and the pelvic floor?

Stress and physical tension can sometimes overlap with pelvic health concerns. Some people habitually hold tension through the abdomen, jaw, shoulders or pelvic floor when they're stressed.

A pelvic floor that feels tight or difficult to relax doesn't necessarily need more strengthening exercises. Our guide to pelvic floor relaxation techniques explains the difference between learning to release the pelvic floor and strengthening it.

When should you seek extra support?

Speak with a GP or mental health professional if stress, anxiety, panic symptoms or poor sleep persist, worsen or interfere with your work, relationships, sleep or everyday activities.

Stress isn't a diagnosis, and symptoms that feel like anxiety can sometimes have another physical or mental health cause. A healthcare professional can help you work out what may be contributing.

Symptoms such as palpitations, dizziness, chest discomfort or shortness of breath shouldn't automatically be assumed to be anxiety.

Call triple zero (000) for severe or sudden symptoms such as chest pain, significant difficulty breathing, fainting or palpitations together with chest pain, dizziness or shortness of breath.

Mental health support in Australia

If you're having thoughts of suicide or self-harm and are in immediate danger, call triple zero (000).

You can also contact:

  • Lifeline on 13 11 14, available 24 hours a day
  • Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 for mental health support
  • Medicare Mental Health on 1800 595 212 for free advice and connection with mental health services, available weekdays from 8:30 am to 5 pm excluding public holidays

Medicare Mental Health is not a crisis service. For urgent mental health support, use a crisis service or call 000 if there is immediate danger.

Start with one technique that suits you

Regulating your response to stress isn't about being relaxed every minute of the day.

Try one small strategy, such as slowing your breathing, taking a short walk, using a grounding exercise or speaking with someone you trust. Notice whether it helps and adjust without assuming you're doing something wrong if a particular technique doesn't suit you.

Relaxation tools can be useful, but they don't need to become another wellness target to achieve.

For more menstrual and pelvic health information, explore our Period Care and Pelvic Health Guides.

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Sources and further reading

This article provides general educational information and isn't a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice.