A Guide to Talking to your Child about Periods

10 min read
Parent braiding a child's hair while talking together

Talking to your child about periods works best as a series of relaxed, honest conversations rather than one big talk. Start before their first period, explain what a period is using accurate words and let them know where to find products and support.

Follow their questions, respect their privacy and remind them that period experiences vary. They don't need to learn everything at once.

Contents

When should you start talking about periods?

It is helpful to start with simple explanations before puberty begins, often during the primary school years. There isn't one perfect age or one perfect conversation. Follow your child's questions and build on what they already know.

Puberty can begin from around age 8, and some children may have their first period from around age 9. Starting early means menstruation is less likely to come as a complete surprise.

Children who won't menstruate also benefit from learning about periods. Understanding what periods are and how they are managed can help reduce teasing, embarrassment and misinformation and make it easier for them to support friends, siblings or partners later on.

If your child seems uncomfortable or uninterested, keep the conversation brief and return to it another time. Everyday moments, such as seeing period products in the bathroom or putting them in the shopping trolley, can make the subject feel much less formal.

How do you explain a period to a child?

You don't need a complicated explanation. You could say:

“A period is when blood and tissue from the lining of the uterus leave the body through the vagina. It's part of the menstrual cycle and usually happens about once a month, although the timing can vary, especially at first.”

Use accurate words such as uterus, vagina and vulva. Learning the correct names for body parts helps young people understand their bodies and communicate clearly if they ever have a question or health concern.

Most people who menstruate are girls and women, but some trans boys and non-binary people have periods too. You don't need to make this complicated. It can simply be part of explaining that periods are something certain bodies do rather than something that defines someone's gender.

A first period often happens around age 12 or 13, although it may happen earlier or later. It usually arrives around 2 to 3 years after breast development begins, and periods are commonly irregular during the first few years.

For a fuller explanation that your child can read with you or on their own, see Everything you need to know about getting your period.

How can you make the conversation easier?

  • Keep it matter-of-fact. Periods are a normal bodily function. Answer the question your child has asked without feeling that you need to explain everything at once.
  • Listen first. Ask what they've already heard from school, friends, siblings or social media. This gives you an opportunity to correct misinformation without turning the conversation into a lecture.
  • Share experiences without setting expectations. Your own first period may be useful to talk about, but remind them that their experience might be different.
  • Respect their privacy. Ask before telling relatives, friends, teachers or siblings that they've started their period.
  • Leave the door open. Let them know they can come back with questions later. If they don't feel comfortable talking with you about something, another trusted adult or healthcare professional can also help.

You don't need to know every answer. Being willing to say “I'm not sure, let's find out” is often more useful than guessing.

What should your child know before their first period?

Before their first period, it helps if your child understands what a period is, what bleeding and symptoms might be like, what period products are available and who they can ask for help.

What bleeding and symptoms may be like

Period blood doesn't always look the same. It can be bright red, dark red or brown, and small clots can occur.

Periods commonly last around 3 to 7 days and bleeding is often heavier during the first day or two. Early menstrual cycles can be unpredictable, so the next period may not arrive exactly four weeks later.

Some people have cramps, bloating, tender breasts, headaches or mood changes around their period, while others have very few symptoms.

Heat packs, gentle movement, rest and relaxation may help with cramps. A pharmacist or GP can advise about suitable pain-relief medicines.

Try not to promise that periods won't hurt, but don't teach your child that significant pain is simply something they have to put up with either. Pain that regularly interferes with school, sport, sleep or everyday activities is worth discussing with a healthcare professional.

What period products are available?

There are several ways to manage a period, including disposable pads, reusable cloth pads, period underwear, tampons, menstrual cups and menstrual discs.

Many young people find pads or period underwear straightforward when their periods first begin, but there isn't a particular product someone has to start with. Age alone doesn't determine whether a tampon, cup or another internal product is suitable. Comfort, personal preference and being able to follow the product instructions matter more.

Let your child see and handle different products before they need them if they're interested. Knowing how a pad opens, where it sticks or what a menstrual cup actually looks and feels like can remove some of the mystery.

Always follow the manufacturer's instructions for how a product should be used, changed, cleaned and stored.

Tampons should generally be changed every 3 to 4 hours or when full and should never be left in for longer than 8 hours because of the rare but serious risk of toxic shock syndrome (TSS).

TSS is very rare but needs urgent treatment. Symptoms can include a sudden high temperature, vomiting, diarrhoea, dizziness, confusion or a red rash. If your child develops symptoms that make you concerned about TSS while using a tampon or menstrual cup, remove the product if possible and seek urgent medical care.

If they'd like to explore their options, you can compare different products together in the Menstrual Products Comparison Hub.

How to prepare for school or outings

A little preparation can make a first period away from home much less stressful.

  • Pack a small pouch with their preferred period products and a spare pair of underwear.
  • Talk about where they can find a toilet and period products at school and which teacher, school nurse or other adult they could approach if they need help.
  • Let them practise opening a pad or handling another product before they need it, if they'd like to.
  • Explain that disposable pads and tampons should be wrapped and placed in a bin rather than flushed down the toilet.
  • If they use reusable products, make a plan for storing them until they can be washed or cleaned.

If your child wants to keep track of their periods, they can use a calendar or our downloadable period tracker. Tracking is optional and early cycles can be irregular, so an app or calendar won't always accurately predict when the next period will arrive.

What if your child feels worried or embarrassed?

Ask what they're worried about rather than assuming you know. Common concerns include leaking through clothing, having pain at school, someone noticing their period products or not knowing where they can change them.

Once you know the specific worry, you can make a plan together. For example, they might keep a spare pair of underwear in their bag, learn where the school toilets have disposal bins or work out which adult they would feel comfortable approaching for help.

Avoid jokes, teasing or making announcements about their body, even if you see their first period as something to celebrate. Some young people are happy for other people to know, while others would much rather keep it private.

Periods and gender

For some trans and non-binary young people, menstruation can be particularly uncomfortable or distressing. Other gender-diverse people may feel quite neutral about it.

Use the name and language your child prefers and listen to how they describe their own body and period rather than assuming how menstruation makes them feel.

TransHub has information about menstruation for trans and gender-diverse people, and our guide to periods and gender inclusivity looks at practical ways to make conversations about menstruation more inclusive.

What if the conversation leads to other questions?

Talking about periods often leads naturally to questions about puberty, bodies, pregnancy, consent, sex or contraception. You don't need to cover all of those subjects in one conversation either.

Our guides to anatomy and the reproductive system and contraception options in Australia can help with some of those conversations.

Body Talk from Family Planning Australia is another useful resource designed to give young people accurate information about bodies, puberty, relationships, contraception and sexual health.

When should you seek medical advice?

There can be quite a lot of variation during puberty and the first few years of menstruation. However, some changes are worth discussing with a GP or other qualified healthcare professional.

Seek medical advice if your child has:

  • period pain that is severe, getting worse or regularly stops them from going to school, exercising, sleeping or doing everyday activities
  • heavy bleeding, such as needing to change a pad or tampon every 1 to 2 hours, bleeding through clothing, needing to change products overnight or passing clots larger than a 50 cent coin
  • periods lasting longer than 7 days
  • periods that are more than 3 months apart after menstruation has begun
  • bleeding between periods
  • no signs of puberty by age 13
  • no first period by age 15
  • breast development or other signs of puberty before age 8

Seek urgent medical care if your child has very heavy bleeding together with dizziness, weakness or fainting, if bleeding suddenly becomes much heavier than usual, or if they are seriously unwell.

Call triple zero (000) in an emergency.

You can also call healthdirect on 1800 022 222 at any time to speak with a registered nurse.

Keep the conversation going

Your child doesn't need to remember everything after one conversation. The key message is know what a period is, understand that different experiences are normal, have practical options available and feel able to ask for help.

Give them age-appropriate choices about how they manage their period, respect their privacy and check in occasionally without making every period a family discussion.

As they get older, what they want from their period care may change too. A product that works well for their first few periods might not be what they prefer for sport, swimming, travel or heavier days later on.

For a useful next step, explore our free Period Product Comparison Guide together. It compares disposable and reusable period products and includes guidance specifically for first periods.

Related blogs

Sources and further reading

This article provides general educational information and is not a substitute for individual medical advice. Speak with a qualified healthcare professional if you have concerns about puberty, bleeding or period symptoms.