Puberty is an important phase in a young person’s life, marked by various physical and emotional changes. For some young people, a significant milestone during this time is the onset of menstruation, or their first period.
It may feel uncomfortable or challenging talking to your kids about menstruation due to social taboos, cultural beliefs or the way you were brought up but the good news is, like most things in life, that honesty and openness make things way more accessible for everybody. It is helpful to talk to all children about periods before puberty, whether or not you expect them to menstruate. Around age seven may be a good starting point, but you are the best person to judge when the time is right for your child.
Most people who have periods are girls and women, but some trans boys and non-binary people have periods too. Explaining this simply gives children an accurate understanding of who may menstruate.
If your child doesn't seem interested in talking about periods, try to bring it up in natural moments. It's ideal to have multiple conversations about periods with your kids rather than just one big talk. This way, they can gradually build their understanding and learn more about their bodies.
Talking to your child early on means they will be more likely to feel comfortable asking questions or asking for help when they feel uncomfortable about other things in their lives and with their bodies.
Understanding Menstruation
Menstruation is a natural bodily function in which the lining of the uterus sheds monthly, resulting in bleeding through the vagina. This process usually starts between the ages of 9 and 16, although the average age of menarche (the first occurrence of menstruation) is around 12. It is important to note that every child’s experience with menstruation is unique, both in terms of timing and symptoms.
How Do I Talk To My Kids About Periods?
You're not alone if you're having trouble talking to your kids about periods. It can be tough to start the conversation, especially if you didn't have a great experience with menstruation yourself.
Here are a few tips for effective communication with your child:
- Be Open and Honest: It's okay to admit that you're not always perfectly comfortable talking about periods but try to be as open and honest as possible with your kids. This will help them feel more comfortable talking to you about their own experiences.
- Create a Safe and Comfortable Environment: Choose a quiet and private space where both you and your child feel at ease. This will help foster open communication and make your child feel comfortable discussing personal matters.
- Start Early: Begin conversations about menstruation before the onset of puberty. This allows children to become familiar with the concept so those who menstruate feel better prepared and others understand how to be supportive.
- Keep it Age-Appropriate: How you talk about periods with a 6-year-old will be different from how you talk about it with a 16-year-old. Use language and discuss appropriate topics for your child's age. You don’t need to shy away from anatomy. Teaching them the right words helps kids develop healthy relationships with their bodies.
- Address Common Concerns: Discuss common concerns and clarify any misconceptions they may have. See the section below titled "What should you talk about?". Be prepared to address questions about menstrual products, like pads, tampons, or menstrual cups and explain their usage and availability.
- Avoid Judgement and Shame: Periods are a natural bodily process for many people, so there is no reason to judge or shame someone for having one. While you might influence a healthy, no-shame environment at home, the reality is that schools and other friends can affect the way your child feels about it. Make sure you offer open channels to discuss what happens outside the house.
- Be a Good Listener: It can be tempting to give your child all the answers, but it's more important to be a good listener. If they have questions, answer them as best you can. If they just want to vent about their period, let them do so without judgment.
- Offer Support and Resources: Share scientifically accurate information about menstruation, including the menstrual cycle, hormonal changes, and the purpose of menstruation. Your child may be interested in reading some information themselves and our blog Everything You Need To Know About Getting Your Period is a great place to start. Government health departments also provide puberty resources that can help you cover the topics your child should know about. One of our favourites is by the WA Department of Health Puberty Booklet (PDF). It covers information on Puberty for Boys and Girls.
- Explain Common Symptoms Without Dismissing Pain: Talk about symptoms that can occur around menstruation, such as mild cramps, mood changes and bloating. Experiences vary, but severe pain, very heavy bleeding or symptoms that interfere with school, sport, sleep or everyday activities should not simply be dismissed as normal. Encourage your child to tell you how they feel and seek medical advice when needed.
- Encourage Self-Care: Teach teenagers the importance of self-care during menstruation, including maintaining good hygiene, eating a balanced diet, staying hydrated and getting enough rest. Discuss strategies for managing discomfort, such as using heat packs or taking pain relievers if needed.
- Involve Other Support Systems: Encourage teenagers to reach out to trusted adults, such as parents, teachers, or healthcare providers for additional support and information. Emphasise the availability of school nurses or counsellors who can provide guidance if necessary.
What Should You Talk About?
Whilst it doesn't have to be too structured, there are a few key areas we should talk to our kids about when discussing periods:
- First, it is essential to discuss what periods are and how they work. This helps children understand what may happen in their own body or the body of someone they know. There are many fun, age-appropriate videos on YouTube to understand the biology behind it.
- Second, you should talk about managing periods – both the physical aspects (like cramps and bleeding) and the emotional aspects (like mood swings). Telling them about your own experience or the experiences of other key adults in their life can help.
- Finally, showing them period products can help demystify them and make them comfortable with pads, tampons, period underwear, menstrual cups and menstrual discs. You’ll also want to talk to them about the importance of changing their products and how you dispose of your period products or clean and reuse cups or cloth pads.
Talking about these things with your child can help them feel more comfortable and confident about dealing with their period when it comes! Also be aware that a conversation on menstruation may open up other questions about anatomy and the reproductive system, consent, intimacy, sex and contraception.
Benefits of Talking Openly about Periods
- Knowledge and Empowerment: Educating our children about periods equips them with accurate information, empowering them to understand the changes happening in their bodies. Knowledge helps demystify menstruation and fosters a positive attitude towards reproductive health.
- Normalising Experiences: Open conversations about periods assure young people that menstruation is a natural process experienced by billions of people worldwide, most of whom are girls and women. By normalizing these experiences, we can alleviate feelings of embarrassment or shame associated with periods.
- Reducing Anxiety and Fear: Lack of knowledge often leads to anxiety and fear about the unknown. By addressing concerns and answering questions, we can help alleviate anxiety related to periods, allowing our children to approach this phase of life with confidence.
- Building Self-Confidence: Discussing periods openly boosts self-confidence as children feel more prepared and knowledgeable about their bodies. This, in turn, can positively impact their overall self-esteem and body image.
- Breaking the Stigma: Historically, menstruation has been surrounded by societal stigma and secrecy. It has often been treated as something to hide or discuss only among women, which can exclude other people who menstruate as well as children who need accurate information. This silence and lack of open conversation often lead to misinformation, fear, and shame among young people. By breaking the stigma and encouraging open dialogue, we can empower young people to embrace their bodies and navigate menstruation with confidence.
Talking to young people about periods is essential for their overall well-being and self-confidence. By breaking the stigma surrounding menstruation, we can provide our children with accurate information, normalise their experiences and equip them to embrace their bodies and navigate this natural biological process with confidence and without shame or fear.
References:
- Johns Hopkins Medicine. (n.d.). The Basics of Puberty.
- The Royal Children's Hospital Melbourne. (2020). Talking to Your Child About Menstruation.
- Harvard Health Publishing. (2020). Talking to Children About Menstruation.
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